Curly tales 4 – Curls and oxidised jewelry

There come time when you want to go wild, set yourself free, and dance with the tune. This Ganesh festival was my days of setting myself free. From looking nice to dancing wild and going crazy with the rhyme, I did it all.

Today, I am back to my normal self. Back with curls and oxidised jewelry.

Curly Tales 3 - Hair cut and hair accessories

All those who struggle with curls remember your hair journey is a marathon, not a sprint. Here is my story.

As a child, I always had short hair, so a school hairband or two small ponies or Rasana hairstyle looked cute and perfect.

Then the never ending journey of long hair, maintaining those curly long hair, getting perfect hair cut and selecting perfect hair accessories started. When you have curls you can’t wear those fancy accessories with beads or diamonds. They just get stuck in your hair and you have to brutally pull it off breaking your hair and literally making you cry. Even a diamond ring is a big no no for curls. With such ring a simple task of tying hair into a bun can be a nightmare. That diamond prong do get stuck and tangled in curls, breaking them up or the hair.

There is no perfect hair accessories for our curls. I have tried many such hair accessories from simple clutches, hair clips, hair pins, barrettes, scrunches. Nothing work best for curls. They just break after one or two use or their teeth falls down one by one. And it has nothing to do with the quality. I have purchased the cheapest to costliest clutches from train to imported set from Japan. I even got one Korean set of hair accessories. It broke on day one and then I realised that Koreans and Japanese have soft, straight and silky hair, they do not understand curls. Point is it will last for a month if you are lucky. Be it plastic, metal or acrylic, maximum life of all these accessories in curly hair is one month. They just get suffocated in curls, it’s volume and finally die in suffocation. The only long lasting hair accessories is the hairbands. That black sling hair band. सस्ता, मजबूत और टिकाऊ. So all curly girls, don’t waste your time and money buying expensive hair accessories. Just get those sling hair band in all colors and your job is done.

Another struggle is to get a perfect hair cut. No hair salon, hairdresser or beautician understand curly hair. They will wet your hair making them look like straight hair, Comb with the closely spaced comb and then cut it in straight line. Then they will blow dry your hair to style them up. All such process is wrong. Curly hair tend to bounce up once dried. If you cut then evenly when they are wet they will end up becoming uneven once dried. One need to cut curly hair when they are left natural. That is the only way one can end up having them in straight line. Funny but true. For many years I did cut my hair again after getting a nice haircut from a hairdresser as they always looked uneven at the end. Cut them when they are dry and bouncing.

Another part is hair styling. All those hair styling with blow hair dry is of no use. Inward turn and outward turn at the bottom are not real for curls. We got springs, so no matter how much you make them wet and pull them down straight and try to make an inward turn, they with bounce up like Maggie noodles one they are dry. 

I have gradually learned to just flip my hair like I just don’t care. To loose my bangs and let the wind do the rest. I have finally learned to  enjoy and embrace my curly.

Curly tales 2 - Curls and color.

I always wanted to color my hair. Not that I was desperate, but few colors I really love like burgundy, peacock, and purple. I don’t know if I got guts to color my hair in peacock or purple. But I finally settled with brown + burgundy.

When in college, I preferred to spend more money on treks than beauty. I thought, when I saw my 1st grey hair, that time I would have my hair colored. Many of my senior colleagues in their late 20s or early 30s had that salt and pepper look. So my plan was ready. But with curls, to get that salt and pepper look is a long wait. The reason, you need to oil your hair daily. I remember looking like a female version of Satya Sai Baba if I skipped oiling my hair. Thus, my 30s went with jet black color. 

Finally, last year, when I was already 40+ and still with jet black hair, I finally collected my guts. We were planning my son’s thread ceremony. Already in my 40s, I thought it was the best time for some mischief. If not now, then when ?

I got a few strikes of brown and burgundy and two strikes of red in front. But the problem was, since original color is bark black, red was never visible. The lady suggested that I go for more strong colors. Maybe next time, when I will try purple or peacock. (In my 50s may be). 

My curls look best after wash. But there were no products available in the market to maintain those curls. Our mentality was set - लंबे, काले, घने and straight  बाल. Then finally someone thought of curly girls and one product was launched. And today, market is flooded with curly girl products like Dove, Manetain, Ashba, Curlvana, Curlup, Fix my curls and many more. What to choose and how to use is now a topic of discussion with a new style statement CGM - Curly Girl Method. 

Till the time I again gather my guts to do some mischief, let me enjoy being CG with my burgundy and brown (now faded). What shlould i try? DM me for selecting the color peacock or purple or same old accepted one of burgundy + brown. 

Happy to be CG.

Curly tales 1 - Tale of my curls

Finally! My hair are back to my natural curls. In the 1st week of March this year, I got my hair straightened and immediately regretted it for two reasons. First, When you have two boys at home believe me it just went unnoticed. And second I faced a bad hair fall. Never in my life I am going to do it again. It took me 5-6 weeks to get me hair back to normal.

First time I straightened my hair was in 2008. I still remember after getting my hair done I was traveling to Pune with my friends. With lot of excitement I flaunted my hair asking, “कसे दिसत आहेत”. She replied in cold face and equally cold voice, “नक्की काय दाखवते आहेस”. I told her about my hair straightening treatment and she replied, “काहीही समजत नाही आहे. कुत्र्याची शेपूट आहेत तुझे केस. खाली कितीही वजन बांधा किंवा इस्त्री करा, वजन काढालं की ते spring सारखे वरच चढणार”. And my money went down the drain. (How rude!).

Then I did this stupidity again this year. I mean I always wanted that silky, straight hair. I remember once I was in parlour and girl sitting next to me had that silky, straight hair. I was staring at her hair when she turned to me and asked, “Are these your natural hair or you have curled it”. I told her this Maggie noodles are my natural hair and she said, “I will pay anything to get those curls”. This is exactly what I am thinking about your hair, I told her. If I ever went to parlour to make my hair more curly, I will be looking like an African.

One such incident I remember. I was traveling by train to Thane. Being just one stop, I was at the door. Suddenly I realised a sharp wheapon on my neck. After getting down, I realised that my gold chain has been stolen. I was devastated but still managed to go to class. My friend sitting behind me asked, 'what is this gold hanging in your hair'. That thief was able to cut my chain but was unable to pull it through my hair. My cruel friend said, “How was he able to reach till your neck at first place”. How rude again.

All my Japanese friends and colleagues have always appreciated my big eyes and curly hair. पिकत तिथे विकत नाही हेच खरं.

I always wonder how easily the silky hair can be combed. I mean, it’s a matter of few minutes for them. I whereas has to make four sections to get my tangled hair combed. And still they look bouncy, curly. As my mother-in-law once said, “तुझं बरं आहे ना, केस विंचरले काय अणि नाही विंचरले काय सारखेच दिसतात”. I take it as a compliment now as I have started loving my curls. Love to be a CG (Curly girl). I think I look much better with these curls.

I am a fighter

Stumblimg and falling, tripping and trembling

Faltering all the way but not stopping

Wishing it would end someday

I get back with my life. 

Fighting my emotions

Fighting my thoughts

Hoping one day I will be strong

I get back to my life.

Why me ? Has an answer

Because I am a fighter

Wishing my fight will end with a positive note

I get back with my life.

To be strong is only option I have

But to fall again and again, yet to be strong is backbreaking

Hoping my stress will end someday

I get back with my life.

To get depressed and torn apart

To fight with yourself and your thoughts

Wishing my prayers will be heard someday

I get back with my life.

To fall and to rise, to fall again in life

I have learned to smile for no mistake of mine

Hoping all my pain will go away someday

I get back with my life.

15 - October - 2021

To the unknown face

To the unknown face

How much I wanted to thank you

For being there with me 

As I walked that midnight path

Holding my son close to my heart

I was so calm, so composed

Without any fear, without any anger

I knew it was you, walking with us that midnight

To the unknown face

I could feel your presence 

As we were walking down that midnight lane

You came in the form of 12 dogs

Walking beside us as our bodyguard.

I knew it was you, walking with us that midnight

To the unknown face

I knew you were the angel

Without any name or face

You just came to protect me and my son

And vanished once done

I knew it was you, walking with us that midnight

To the unknown face

You give me strength to be kind 

Not only with friends but with those who destroyed my life

Even with those who stabbed me with a smile

Because somewhere I knew, you were the angel sent by god 

To help me for not being bad with any mankind.

I knew it was you, walking with us that midnight

To the unknown face

Hope I have not betrayed you on the way

I try my best to be kind and polite

Sometimes, I feel like its a battle lost

Then you appear as a unknown friend 

Bringing back my smile and telling me to be strong

I knew it was you, walking with us that midnight

To the unknown face

How can you be you without any face

Helping out others without any pay

Cruel world it is, where nothing is free 

Still, you exist, I am sure of this

You were their on that road midnight

And left few minutes before I arrived

Making sure everything is alright

You just vanished without any face

I knew it was you, walking with us that midnight

To the unknown face

I wish to be you in someone’s tears

To be that unknown face in someone’s fear

To give them strength and trust that you gave me

And reason to rise again like a phoenix

I knew it was you, walking with us that midnight

9 October 2019

Mother – A 10 times repeater…

Few days back, my childhood friend called. As usual we had a long chat sharing our day to day life, talking about happiness, problems and of course husband. Being family friends, we not only know each other but know in and out of each other’s family.  That is the reason we can share anything and everything together.

My friend was complaining about her mother repeating each and every thing 10-20 times. She was complaining saying, “Mom calls in office time and then goes on and on with her problems and repeat everything she say at least 10-20 times.” Even I started wondering about the same thing. Even my mother got the habit of repeating the same thing over and over again. I wonder why all mothers think that they have to repeat everything they say for minimum 5-10 times and that we don’t get it right at the first shot. I am sure it’s the same case with you too. I know it get on to our nerves and its hell irritating and frustrating, especially when we are in some different mood, in some different situations.

Luckily, when my friend called I was at my sister’s place. Probably so, I was able to think on some different lines. I am seen my sister’s life very closely. My sister’s life revolves around her 4yrs old daughter Ahana. Her morning starts with a sweet talk with Ahana while waking her up. Once up, the instruction list starts and then it goes on and on throughout the day.  

Go to toilet

Wash your hands and face

Brush your teeth etc.

And this is a daily scenario. If she miss on something, Ahana surely gonna miss on doing it. So she has to repeat the list every day. Few instructions she has to repeat 10 times a day. Like drink water, don’t sleep and watch Tv, don’t sleep and read etc. With time instruction and its pattern might change. But they will be repeated over and over again till Ahana develops a habit of doing it. At 4, Ahana has already showing the sign of frustration, especially when Tai as her to go to toilet. “Don’t talk about going to toilet, I don’t like it” is Ahana’s cry. And then Tai goes on explaining or sometimes scolding her saying, “Then don’t complain about stomach pain”. It’s a daily scenario these days.

Once in my reading, I read that to develop any habit in ourselves we should follow 45 days pattern. If we tend to do anything for 45 days, we soon develop a habit of it. So now imagine our mothers have being repeating the instructions for so many years. Rather they had to for our own good. So they have developed a habit of repeating everything.  

Today what we are is because of our mother and because of her instructions. We have developed so many good habits because of her, so can’t we just ignore her habit of repeating the same thing over and over again. And probably it’s we who have developed this habit in our mother. So we should not be complaining about it. When I shared my thoughts with my friend we both had a great laugh.

As it is said, “By the time a women realizes her mother was right, she has a daughter who thinks she’s wrong”

-Love you Mom. This is for you on your 64^th Birthday

15 August 2014

How babies ‘WERE’ born…

Hey! Don’t get too excited. I am not here to discuss how babies are born or about sex. Read the topic again. The topic says, “How babies ‘WERE’ born”. I am always excited and curious to know how babies ‘were’ born in our ancient epics. If I come across with any new character from our epics, first thing that comes to my mind is how he or she was born. I have been hearing stories of Ramayan and Mahabharat since childhood.  Birth of few characters in those epics has always amazed me. I am not challenging the stories or its creation or hurting any Hindu sentiments here. I always believed that we were much more advanced in those days than we are today. But it’s a fact that few babies born in those days were not natural.

Hanuman: is a son of Kesari and Anjana. Story of Hanuman birth is also very complicated.  Kesari and Anjana prayed to lord Shiva for a child.  By Shiva's direction, Vayu or Pawan transferred his male energy to Anjana's womb. Accordingly, Hanuman is identified as the son of the Vayu/Pawan. Thus Hanuman is also called as Pawanputra.

My Note: Wow! I have learned about wind, water, insect pollination etc. wherein pollen grains are carried from one place to another and where wind, water or bees acts as a pollen vector. But these types of pollination are restricted to plants. I have never heard of any human beings or animals being pollinated in that fashion.

Just imagine wind- pollination working for human beings. How scary it sounds.

Makardhwaja:  is the son of Hanuman and a crocodile. It’s said that, Hanuman took a dip in the water after burning Lanka. While doing so, a drop of his perspiration fell in to the mouth of giant crocodile making her pregnant.

My Note: Now hearing this story, few questions arise in my mind.

How can someone’s perspiration make anyone pregnant?

Except for a Mule, I have not heard of two different species give birth to someone.

Thank god, today we don’t have these facilities. We all might be worried while going out for a swim. And with two different species mating with each other we would definitely not have any pets at home. PHEW!

Pandawas: The birth story of all Pandu putra is also very amazing.

It’s said that, Brahmin rishi, Kindam and his wife were making love in the forest when Pandu accidentally shot them, mistaking them for deer. Before dying, Kindam cursed the king to die when he engages in intercourse with any woman. Due to this curse, Pandu was unable to father children. After Pandu's disability, the Pandavas were conceived in an unusual way. His wife, Queen Kunti, had in her youth been granted the power to invoke the Devas by Rishi Durvasa. Each Deva, when invoked, would bless her with a child.

Kunti gave birth to Karna by invoking lord ‘Surya’. Afraid of being an unwed mother Kunti, placed the baby in a basket and set him afloat on a river.

Yudhisthira was born by invoking the Lord of judgement, ‘Dharma’.

Bhima by invoking the God of wind, ‘Vayu’.

Arjun by invoking the god ‘Indra’

It’s said that Kunti also shared the boon with Pandu’s second wife Madri, who then invoked Ashwin Kumar to beget Nakul and Sahadev. 

My Note: Thank god, Kunti was the last one to receive this kind of blessing. Just imagine we are blessed with it too. Then, we too would have names our children in American style. Like in America, mother name her child as Tomson, Jackson to know who their father is, we would have named our children as Ravi putra, Vayu putra, Indra putra etc.

Dhritarashtra, Pandu and Vidur :  The birth story of these legends is also very complicated. After Vichitraviry's death, his mother Satyavati sent for her first born, Vyas. According to his mother's wishes, he visited both the wives of Vichitravirya to grant them a son with his yogic powers. When Vyas visited Ambika, she saw his dreadful and forbidding appearance with burning eyes. In her frightened state, she closed her eyes and dared not open them. Hence her son, Dhritarashtra, was born blind.

Then when Vyas visited Ambalika, Vichitravirya’s second wife, she did keep her eyes open but she became pale after seeing the formidable form of the Sage. Therefore, Pandu was born pale.

Being shocked by Vichitravirya’s wife Satyavati then decided to send Parishrami, the maid to the queens Ambika and Ambalika and Vidur was born.

My Note: Were we really so advance in those days that with yogic power we were able to produce babies?  Today if this kind of power exists, then, woman when detected with infertility would prefer to visit a yogi instead of visiting a Genealogist. Or probably this kind of power might be included in our educational syllabus for Genealogist.  

Draupadi: She is said to be born from fire.

 I am grateful that these things do not happen in Kaliyug. Just imagine, a girl going out for a job and becoming pregnant on the way back home. Or going for a swim on a nice lazy weekend and getting out from the pool with a baby in hand. And two different species giving birth to something, is just indigestible.  I always believe that our ancestors were much more advanced and technologically sound that we are today. And if we talk about technologies in those days …

Ramayan :

a.          It’s said that Ravan kidnapped Sita and took her to Lanka from Pushpak Viman. Today, after so many thousand years we have developed an airplane.

b.         It’s said we had lots of weapons in those days like Bhramastra – which is like nuclear weapon, Pashupat astra, Aindra astra, Agneya astra, Varun astra, Naga astra, vayu astra, Surya astra, Vajra astra, Mohini astra, Twasthar astra, Pramohan astra and many more. It’s said that those astra were much more advanced and had power to bring rain, to emit flames, to release torrential amount of water, create a dazzling light etc. If we say it’s all fake, then at least we should respect that they have got the power to imagine these kinds of weapons. And the description of Bhramastra is just like a nuclear weapon that we have developed today. So how can we say it’s all fake.

Mahabharat: It had all the miracles and wonders one can imagine.   

a.          Gandhari and Dhritarashtra had 100 sons and they were born in a pot. Today we have developed a technology of Test-tube babies or IUV. But probably we have still not reached that level. Today the fertilization is done in test tube and after some time is inserted back in women’s womb.  Gandhari instead had grown all 100 babies in pots itself. No women and give birth to 100 sons in natural way.

b.         When Kansa imprisoned Devaki and Vasudev, Rohini came to their rescue and agreed to give birth to their son Balram. Is it not like a surrogate mother that we have today?  Only the technology we had has to be much more advanced for sure.

On a lighter note, 'How babies WERE born' in our ancient epics has always been and will always be a topic of curiosity. 

Let your hair down…

Much awaited Sunday was here. After a hectic two weeks, I decided to set myself free on this Sunday. It’s nice to let your hair down once a while and go a bit wild. A day when you pamper yourself, spoil yourself to fullest. Yesterday was one such day. I already declared it to Rahul that kitchen will be closed for morning lunch. He never had objection over it. Or rather, he never had a choice  J . Sunday being working for Rahul, he had to push his butt up the bed. I overslept till the time Rahul woke me up after preparing a bed tea for me. Love you darling for that! This is heaven, I told myself. I love tea and I love it more when it’s prepared by someone else. Who doesn’t?

Sunday is usually a cleaning day. But today I was ignoring all the dust and the mess. All I wanted was a time for me. Sleeping on the couch, I watched TV for a while. To my luck, they don’t play those Saas-Bahu serials on Sunday. Thank god. A new reality show, “India’s Best Dramebaaz” is been telecast on Zee TV. A nice show to watch with lots of kids showing how Dramebazz they are. There is one such participant from Pune, Shruti, she is just Too much. Full 2 dramebaaz. All I did was take a sip of tea, relax on couch and watch TV.

 I then decided to take a parlor appointment and pamper myself little more. To my regret, all the appointments were full. Fine I said. I then took a one hour bath. Just relaxing, calm, quite, no thoughts running, no worries. It was just me, myself. Then doing Pooja, and preparing something to eat, I decided to catch some Z’s. Even after sleeping for 2 hours I was in no mood of getting up from the warm blanket. I woke up to eat a bowl full of ice-cream. Needless to say, I ate it while watching TV and relaxing on the couch.

After 8.00pm I finally pushed myself up to prepare dinner. I might not have got a whole day, but those few hours that I had was all for myself.