Sunday, October 12, 2008

Big B's suffering from constipation - Exclusively report n my Blog

Yesterday, news channel was exclusively capturing big B’s issue. Big B hospitalized on his 66 birthday. Even I felt bad. After all he is a good actor. But these news channels really go to any extent to bring exclusive news to people. This is really funny! People performing pooja, doing hom, praying at Siddhivinayak temple. Then one channel might have capture, “Anekta Me Eakta”. Different religious people praying for big b’s good health at temples, mosque, gurudwara etc. It’s really good if they do such prayers for other political issues. Anyways, sometimes I feel this channel will one day go to any extend to capture every day’s move of such stars.


Let’s consider one scenario. One channel had captured exclusive news, “Today Big B’s stomach upset. He is suffering from constipation”. How this news will be capture?

Samwardata:

'Breaking News' - Today big B is suffering from constipation. All country is worried as big b was unable to perform his daily morning duty of going to 'potty'. Let’s try to talk to big B’s fan on their views on this National issue. Our channel has decided to give away an award “Great Big B fan”. Now let’s see who wins this award. This all and many more exculsively only and only on ‘Z news channel’.

Samwardata: So how are you praying for big B’s good health?

Big B’s Fan no.1: From today morning I am standing in front of ‘Jalsa’ and praying for Big B’s health. I have decided that unless and until Big B’s stomach is back to normal I myself won’t go for potty. 'Bhishma Pratidnya!'. Now thats called Control.

Samwardata: Oh! That’s something exclusively. Let’s wait and watch if this fan wins the award of Great Big B’s fan.

Fan No.1: I hope Big B's stomach is back to normal soon. Its now just geting out of control !


To another fan
Samwardata: What exclusive you are doing for big B’s good health?

Big B’s Fan No.2: We are performing a unique prayer wherein we [Amar, Akbar and Anthony] will visit all the famous temples, mosque and churches 'barefooted' to pray to every god for big B’s good health.

Samwardata: Wow! That’s really great! Probably, Bush, Obama, Manmohan Singh, Osama etc should also come together for this International crisis. Big B’s a real International hero.

Samwardata: We have even called US President to express his views regarding this issue.

Samwardata: Mr. President, what would you like to say regarding this horrible issue in India.

Mr. President: I really am shocked to hear the news today and I feel the pain of all of big B's fan(s). I will pray to god for Big B’s good health.

Bravo! Now that’s really an international issue.

All the fans out there have a change to meet big B in personal. This chance again will be exclusively given you by our exclusive channel. All you have to do is send us sms.

Today’s Question: Do you think Big B will be able to perform his morning duty tomorrow?
Type Big B (Space) Y or N and send it to 585858.

Now it’s time to declare Great big B’s Fan award. And the award goes to Fan No.1 as “Its all about control yaar!”.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Human Fax Machine !!! - My new invention

Mulund to Seepz 。。。

I am travelling on this Seepz route for nearly 2 yrs now。 What a wonderful experience it is! Flames of Black Smoke coming from the vehicles, blind one's vision。 Hey! I am not saying it in negative sense. It's very useful to avoid you seeing accidents and bumpy roads。

Drivers need to be qualified with two qualities to be employed as a driver on this Seepz route。

1。Skill of Overtaking –
Many types of drivers do exist on the roads – Skilled drivers, Drunken drivers, Rash drivers, Slow drivers, Idiot drivers etc。 But all these skill(s) are not useful to qualify you on this road。 For days together I am trying to find all the above type of drivers on this route。 Only certificate that qualifies you to drive on this route is the 'Skills of Overtaking'。 It's a MUST skill required。

I am very much Happy to announce that all the drivers on this route have passed the exam of Overtaking (by any means and ways and routes) in First class – first attempt。

Its not as easy as reading it! Especially not when you have 1000 vehicles pushing themselves in the same direction as ur's on a road which is big enough to fit only 2 elephants。

Speed is very much restricted here (to neutral) to avoid any big or serious accidentS. Just a small bump(s) leading to a small dent(s) to vehicles or to humans and animals。

2。Skills of a lawyer –
Yes! Drivers need to be a skilled lawyer。 And they do practice their skills like other black coat lawyers。 Only difference is, their practice is not restricted inside the four walls of court。 They openly practice their practice on roads。

It's again a useful qualification to be a driver。 Weather be it ur mistake or not, Driver shld be able to prove that he is a skilled driver and it's always mistake of other person who try to block the way by not allowing to use his skill(s) of Overtaking!

If there is a small gap in between two vehicles as big as slim person, then a car can easily squeeze in. And if the gap is as big as two people then a huge bus will be fitted in.

There are many advantages of the bumpy roads in India。 Many blame govt. for poor infrastructure。 But govt. is doing a very good job。 Yes, They are really! There are few / many flyovers which are under construction。 If one doesn't count the years they are lying under same tag, it's definitely a progress going on (and on and on)。 Flyovers are like our country “Developing”。

One more advantage is a Roller coaster ride with free package of massage treatment。 It's amazing to see people sleeping on such roads and missing the FUN part of it。 When I will be rich [like bill gates :) ] I will have a special award for them “Skilled Sleepers”。

Sometimes I feel only technology that can solve the traffic problem in India is “Human Fax Machine”。Just imagine ur self squeezing into a Human Fax Machine and coming out in the office directly in ur Cabin on ur chair. Wow! Just a Click away!

"Valley Of Flowers! - 9th Aug - 17th Aug, 2008

“Valley of Flowers”
9th Aug – 17th Aug, 2008

Nature is like Music! Sometimes soft like classical notes, sometimes rough like Rock.

Its rightly said, "The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."Traveling is my passion. Or shld I say, Trekking n Mountaineering is my passion. To go high up in the mountains, above the clouds in a cool breeze, Its wonderful experience all together. Every trek is different, with different experience, different precious moments, and different difficulties. I always believe treks make you an optimistic and courageous person. It’s like – when one can accept the challenge given by nature, that person can handle life challenges too very ‘cheerfully’! Our country India is blessed with all the differences. Historical important of every state, clothing accept by them ‘coz of this historical background or due to weather conditions, language and its dialects, looks – everything is so precious, so different. Hard mountains of Sahyadri, Huge Himalayan range, Desert of Rajasthan, wild oceans, silent Rivers and bumpy waterfall we find it all. He who sees India with this camera will sure fall in love with this gifted country. This trek also bought very good memories. Horse – riding was one of them n the blasting of landslide rocks. This was my first trek with ‘Sahyadri trekkers’ – a trekking grp frm Pune. Though our trek actually started on 9th August, 08- truly speaking trek started way back when Amey Jambekar put a plan of going ‘High’ – High in Himalayas. So now let’s directly jump to the day we started.


Day 1 – 9th Aug, 08
Our trek started on this very day. Saturday 9th Aug. It was a journey by ‘Garib ? Rath - Common people’s train’. It was THE luxurious train I have ever travelled across India. Our journey frm Mumbai – Delhi started at 4.30pm. Immediately seat swapping program was implemented. You meet many types of people in journey. Some r cooperative like that gentleman we met in the train, who immediately was ready to swap seat. On the other hand there was this ‘Khadus’ person who coldly refused my polite request. Few people r born sad, he looked like one. Anyways we had a Fun time enjoying Uno cards, crackng jokes.


Day 2 – 10th Aug, 08
At around 9.30am we reached ‘Hazarath Nizamuddin’ railway station frm where we took train to Haridwar. It was like getting down frm AC car into a ‘Bailgadi’! After 6-7 hrs of journey we reached Haridwar frm where we immediately went to ‘GMVN’ [Gharwal Mandal Vikas Nigam] hotel in Hrishikesh. Dumping our bags in hotel we went to ‘Ram Zula’. Few years back, I had been to all these places with family. It was refreshment of those memories. ‘Bank of River Ganga’, ‘Lots of devotees’ chanting “Bolo Bum Bum – Bum Bum” – nothing was changed, it was just the same last time I visited.


Day 3 – 11th Aug, 08
At early dawn we started our ‘Haridwar – Joshimath’ journey. First ray of sun, falling on mountains reminded me of Sound of music, ‘Ray – A drop of golden Sun’. Everything was so pleasant till the time those 8-10 Bihari babus got into the bus [They are always found in BULK]. Their body was stinking badly and to add to that smell, they all started smoking disgusting Biddi’s and Ganja. I always say – Our country is blessed with beautiful nature but at the same time it’s badly cursed with poverty, illiteracy and mannerless attitude. It was a journey of 10-12hrs. And those impossible animals smoked all through the journey. Conductor tried to stop then but in vain. It’s easy to train animals sometimes, but very difficult to train these people. I am sure this smoke has reduced our life by 1-2 yrs. Anyways… to divert myself, I kept myself busy in watching nature, praising it by capturing it in my camera. I have developed this hobby of Photography due to my trekking passion. Everyone is attracted to ‘River Ganga’ - clouds are no exception. All through this journey, we were blessed with River Ganga – flowing vigorously, Clouds – changing colors with sun rise and Huge mountains – Standing tall with their identity! Really! Heaven can't be different.
Every one of us was trying to keep oneself busy - few sleeping, few accepting the situation - condition n trying to befriend with those Bihari, few praising nature’s beauty when suddenly we all were awakened by Girish yelling, “Are! Bus Thambawa!” [Hello! Someone stop the bus]. Person sitting diagonally behind Girish puked on him, YALK! He did manage to clean himself with mineral water and taking off his dirty shirt. [Me n Archana just had a thought – wht if we had to face such situation? Or for that matter any girl? – We would be like those Smelly cats.] We got a chance to tease Girish, which we did. And he owed to give Prasad to all turn by turn frm his Giri-Dani. To add to this – Amol asked that person, “Bhai Sahab! Kya aap ka abhi bhi ji machal Raha he?” I just could not imagine the circumstances if he had asked same question to any lady.
After all these funny, hilarious, good – bad experience we finally reached Joshimath [Our night halt]. We then took off to ‘Shankaracharya Math’. This is one of the four Math formed by Shankaracharya. Other three are: ‘Rameshwar - South, Dwarka -West, Puri – East’.


Day 4 – 12th Aug, 08

“Hemkund Sahib”

Joshimath – Ghangaria’. Ghangaria, our base camp for Valley. For this 13km journey we preferred to book ‘Khechar [Mule]’. Name of my Khechar was ‘Viru’. I had done / learned ‘Horse Riding’ way back in college, but this Viru was total gone case. Before I could sit and adjust myself this mad Viru started walking and went directly into a pit. Ofcourse I yelled. In saving myself I got hold of a tree full of big thorns. For many days my two fingers were swollen badly. I then exchanged my Viru with Amol’s Basanti. Basanti was good [like all girls are]. After 2-3 hrs of this riding we reached Ghangaria. It was just 11.00am so we decided to visit ‘Hemkund Sahib’ the same day. After lunch we again took the Khechar for our Hemkund journey, as we had less time in hand. On our way to Hemkund we saw many people on their return journey. “Abhi to Gurudwara band ho gaya, abhi jake kuch faida nahi” [Gurudwara is closed for the day today, so it’s of no use going there now]. This and many more free suggestions we received on our way. Gurudwara gets closed at 2.30pm. But it was our luck that on our request they did allowed us inside the Gurudwara to take Sahib’s Darshan. This Gurudwara was built in the memory of Guru Govind Singh thus has very religious value in Sikh community. Just behind Gurudwara is ‘Hemkund’. Hemkund is a Sanskrit name derived frm two words ‘Hem – Himalayas’ and ‘Kund – Bowl’. Bowl of Himalayas. According to Hindus, Lord Lakshman did his penance. Thus this place is an important pilgrimage for both Hindus and Sikhs and other faith. Hemkund has same importance in Sikh community like that of Ganga maiya in Hindus. Hindu believes that all the sins are wiped off if they take a holy bath in Ganga. Sikh people respect Hemkund the same way. They too take a holy bath in Hemkund in this freezing cold and chilled water. I just managed to wash my face with that holy water. After visiting Lakshman temple we returned to our camp.

Day 5 – 13th Aug, 08
“Valley of Flowers”

Not to mention, but we started early in the morning. “Mr. Raghuvir Chauhan” was our local guide. Mr. Chauhan has done M.Sc in Botany and is studying valley for past 30yrs. By the time we took our tickets for Valley, I managed to sit in ‘Pittu’. That was scary- Scary than that Mule riding. To sit on human’s back is really cruel. [That person must be praying to Ganga of getting such light weight – Halki fulki Sawari everydayJ]. As told by sir, there are in all 350 flowers found in Valley. People thing that all these flowers are seen in the month of July – Sept. But that’s not the case. These flowers are seen throughout the year. Some are bloomed during snowfall, some blooms when snow starts melting while some blooms in rainy season – which is said to be the best season to visit valley July – Sept. Forget me not, Arisaema Tortuosum, Geranium Wallichianum, Codonopsis Virdis etc. are some of the many flowers we saw in the valley. It was ofcourse difficult to remember all these names, I copied it frm book, so chill! As Nachiket put it rightly – - - We were trying to remember all this complicated name of the flowers and were forgetting with new additional name when Nachiket said, “We just took guide so that we do not get lost anywhere in the valley, nothing else” [He then won Best Joke of the trek award]. When we all were busy appreciating beautiful flowers Girish has some different question in mind, “Can I eat this flower?” Flower, EAT? Well he is Girish – This says it all, isen't it. Finally sir did gave us permission to eat one small Blue colored, ball like fruit which taste like Iodex – Blue Iodex Lilliputian we names it. Needless to say, Girish ate it LOT – A LOT!

After seeing Valley, one can surely say that this is where God stays. I think – Kailash where we believe Lord Shankar stay is god’s house and Valley is the Garden in front of his house, which has beautiful - multicolored flowers, Golden Ray of sun falling on Himalayan range / fence. WOW! What a Home!

We also took advantage to walk on Glacier, it was amazing. Its really risky to walk on glacier. Its not the firm or hard ice cube. One might also fall as its very slippery. One has to be really careful while walking on such glacier. "Enjoy nature but with safety!"



Where nature is so blessed how can people here will be any different.





Day 6 – 14th Aug, 08

This trek brought two wonderful, thrilling memories. One of them happened today on our return journey ‘Ghangaria – Govindghat’. Except me n Manasi everyone else preferred to walk down on their way back. It was due to horrible experience of riding. It was not the case with me. Walking – I can do for sure… This time I wanted to try something different. ‘Horse Riding’. Manasi got bad cramps and had to take a horse. She too did enjoyed it am sure. This time I decided to take ‘Tall – Dark n Handsome Horse name Sheru’.

Never in my life will I forget Sheru – my horse and his wonderful n careful riding. It so happened that, at check post, Sheru’s owner was busy searching the receipt. He left Sheru at the corner to graze. Sheru was not at all interested in waiting n resting. He started walking all by himself. I too enjoyed it till it was foggy and deep valley was not so visible. Then the sky was clear [Window was opened] and I could see the deep valley. That was the time I asked Archana’s Ghodewala to stop Sheru. But then I asked owner to teach me Horse Riding. Horses that I mounted in college days were all trained horse and riding was limited on roads. Horse Riding in Valley was all together different and thrilling experience. Sheru’s owner actually did teach me how to pull the ‘Lagam’ to direct horse in particular way, How to tab him to indicate speed. “Hibru” [While saying this word – Prolong the U vowel for exact pronunciation] was the only word I learned form the owner, meaning “Chalo!” – “Chaliye Sarkar!". After we reached Govindghat, I bought Sheru a colorful neck belt as a token of my Love! After reaching Govindghat we walked down to Joshimath with all our heavy bags. Then after getng fresh we took off to ‘Auli’. Our plan of going to Badrinath had to be cancelled due to huge land sliding on its way. Auli is the highest rope-way in India and is also famous for ‘Skiing’. [They do conduct Skiing training program for 8days]. After visiting Auli we submitted ourselves to our bed in Joshimath.



Day 7 – 15th Aug, 08

One of the Most Thrilling, Breath taking experience of my life – Exclusively and exclusively on Sharvani and Amey’s Camera. Himalaya rocks, as all are aware are not firm or hard rocks like that of Sahyadri. Land-sliding is a day to day issue faced by people. These people are now so cool towards landsliding like we Mumbaikar are towards road traffic and Rail-Roko.

We were again lucky that just 1hr before our journey the road was opened after it was closed for the whole day on the previous day. On our way – we too had to halt for one such land-sliding. Me, Archana, Amey, Girish and Amol steped down to watch it LIVE. My camera was all set to capture this ‘One-Time moment’. JCB was all set to clear the road. They managed to clear most of the small stones within ½ hr. But there was this Big ‘King Stone’ as my frd described it which was left unturned by bulldozer. Then it was time for some Blasting. We were bushed back in typical Indian style, “Chalo! Gaddi me jaki betho”. All moved back – way back, except Me n Amey. Media's cameraman personality was dominating our fear. My hand was shaking badly with fear but I was not ready to miss this moment. Smoke started coming our and Countdown started 10-9-…AND ……………… That was it! All I remember was a LOUD, LOUD noise and stones falling frm the mountain. I don’t even remember how I managed to run to that 1st bus standing. I just RAN......... Every1 did. Only after I saw that video, I realized how un-thoughtful it was of me and Amey to stand bit close. One stone and we would me LATE! Moreover 15th Aug – is my Mom’s B-day. Atleast I shld have avoided this type of unthoughtful and meaningless courage on this day! But I did enjoyed it for jure, 100%.

After road was cleared, we reached Haridwar station. All I can say is avoid going to Haridwar station in ur life. It was total mess. Whole station was stinking badly as if it’s a big toilet. 3-4 hrs that we spent showed us the different side of the coin. Shameless and mannerless people. It's not the poverty to be cursed, its illiteracy! For once, I felt very pity for Ganga Maiya. It was a relief when our Haridwar – Delhi train arrived.


Day 8 – 16th Aug, 08

We reached Delhi at around 9.30am frm where we went to New-Delhi station my Metro. Keeping our luggage safe? in the cloak room full of rats we left to explore Delhi. Once again it was my 2nd trip to ‘Rashtrapati bhawan, Sansad bhawan, India gate and Chandani Chawk’. Then we traveled in metro en-number of times, meaningless. At 4.30pm our “Rajdhani” arrived in style. Our boys were angry when we had to adjust one seat to a pretty looking girl – Boys gonna be boys! After playing games and eating we dozed off to bed.



Day 9 – 17th Aug, 08

At around 9.30am we reached Mumbai Central. This was the time for me to say good-buy to others. I was the only one frm Mumbai. Others took off to Pune and I returned home with all those "Wonderful memories".

OH! Wait… Trek is not over yet. We again met for Prize distribution on 31st Aug, 08

1. Amey Jambhekar – Good organization skills.
2. Sharvani Khare – Photography (First Prize)

3. Saurabh Moghe – Photography (Second Prize)

4. Vinod Alat – a. Best entertainer

b. Best Captions for the photograph

5. Manai Moghe - The best UNO player of the Trek

6. Girish Pendse - a. Khataron Ke Khiladi

b. Creating entertaining scenes

7. Rohit Dekhane – Best Trekker

8. Mukesh Choudhari - Kya aap paanchvi fail Champu Hai.

9. Nachiket – Best joke of the trek.

"Our Team of 13"

[L-R] Vinod, Girish, Manasi, Nachiket, Saurabh, Amey, Amol, Archana, Tanmay, Gauri, Rohit, Mayuresh and me [photographer]

。___ 。